You are called to stop operating out of fear and control, recognizing that true love mirrors Christ's sacrificial care. Take time this week to read First Corinthians chapter 7 and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal where you need to surrender your need for control. Trust that you have everything you need in Him to love others well.
Well, we thank you for your goodness. Thank you for your love. Thank you that we can't understand your word except by the Holy Spirit. We can have a mental ascent that means nothing for our lives. But when you breathe life on your word, it changes everything.
And, Father, we wanna understand Your Word in our mind, but even more in our spirit, in our heart, that is such that our life lives it "in every way". *Lord God, I ask You to give me Your heart, Your compassion*. Give me and, Courtney, Your compassion for these people as we speak Your Word today. Lord God, open up their hearts and their minds to receive by the Spirit so their lives are transformed in a real way. Lord God, we we ask that "truth cuts" today.
I pray that truth cuts away all the lies, Lord God, in a gracious and gentle way that leaves people healed because they've been gone through surgery by the great surgeon. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for what you're gonna do today. And everybody said Amen. Amen. You may be seated.
Hey. You you remember that series, Corinthians? For those of you that don't know, we've kind of been in a series since October 2022. And whenever the Lord directs us out of that series to to speak a different message or do a different miniseries on top of it, we do it. But we've been in a series called Corinthians since about October 2022.
I would encourage you, if you haven't listened to it, it is a deep dive verse by verse into the Book of Corinthians. And we've made it through *1 Corinthians-1* through 6. We skipped 7. And our teacher in the church, Daniel, 1 of them, 1 of our teachers, he did a great job going through chapter 8. But we skipped 7 because God reserved chapter 7 for today, for you guys, which is awesome.
I'm glad you're here. And so I would highly encourage you. You have some time riding in your car, back and forth to work or around town. Go on The Real Church Clearwater podcast. You can search it on Apple.
You can search it on Spotify or any other podcast app and search back to around 2022 and and start the Corinthians series to catch up because we're gonna be here for a while, and it's gonna be beautiful. Now, let's start in just *1 Corinthians-7:1*. It says, now concerning the matters about which you wrote, and stop. Those of you that are familiar with the Corinthians series, this is normal. Those of that are not, this is normal.
We read a little and stop and dissect it. What does it mean? The matters about who wrote. Remember, this is a letter that Paul wrote to the Corinthians in response to a couple of things. The Corinthians wrote a letter to Paul asking about some specific topics, some specific things that that needed to be addressed in the local body in the city of Corinth, the local church in the city of Corinth.
And Paul is responding to them in chapter 7 and much of what is left in first Corinthians. However, that would mean that the things that he wrote about before chapter 7 came from something else. See, Paul is like a spiritual father of the church of Corinth, and he had probably been praying. I know he had been. He had been praying for the church, and God put some stuff on his heart to address.
But also, had visitors from Corinth coming and talking to him and asking him questions and telling him testimony about what's happening in the city. So Paul takes the first 6 chapters to address those things. And I wanna just do a slight review about some of the things that he addressed because it's been so long since we've been in Corinth. And those of you that would think, well, this is all about the Corinthians and the city of Corinth. This has nothing to do with me.
That's not true. Paul wrote in the beginning in 1 Corinthians-1:2, he says, to the church of God that is in Corinth and those sanctified in Christ* *Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Do you call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ? Are you somewhere in some place? Well, then this is for you.
As a matter of fact, this letter to the city of Corinth really addresses American culture, both in the church and in the world in America. And so it was strategic, I believe, that God led me to do a series on the Corinthians. And in this, as we go through it, it might challenge and poke at some worldviews that you have. And I would just simply say, here with an open heart, and if you see it in Scripture, then you have to ask yourself, do I believe the Bible, or do I believe what I've always been taught? And if you believe the Bible and you're a Jesus follower, when we see something in Scripture that disagrees with the way that we live or the way that we've always been taught, here's what we do.
Oh, man. I was wrong. Wow. That's confession. I'm agreeing I was wrong.
Then we repent, Change our mind and our life to line up with what Scripture says. Amen? Amen. Are you a Jesus follower? Yes.
Well, that's what you do. That's how you live. Correct? Yes. Alright.
Just to set the stage, to prepare so that we have the the right mindset, the right heart with which Paul is writing 1 Corinthians-7. Let's start in chapter 1 verse 4. He says this. I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ* *Jesus. Now this is to you.
You have grace in Jesus. And grace is God's power that empowers you to be what you could never be on your own and to do what you could never do on your own. We know this. I'm just rehashing some things. Grace is God's power empowering you to be what you couldn't be on your own and do what you could never do on your own.
You have that in Christ. Watch this. That in every way you were enriched in Him in all speech and all knowledge. Everybody say, in every way. In every way.
I have been. I have been. Enriched in Jesus. With all speech. With all speech.
And all knowledge. And all knowledge. Your excuse that you're not a good speaker is a lie. You have you've been enriched in Him in every way with all you need to speak everything that you need to speak in the way that He's called you to speak in your life. So quit making excuses.
Hey, in Christ, you have all you need to know. So if you don't know something, go seek it out in Him. Because it's already been declared that you have that in Him, and He lives in you. And this is a good place to start. Amen?
Amen. Okay. Watch this. Even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you, so that you are not lacking in any gift. Everybody say, I am not I lacking am not in any gift in Jesus Christ.
You know why? Because you have the Holy Spirit, and every gift's in the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit's in you. You have everything that you need. Second Peter 1 says that that He's given you everything that you need through the promises, His precious promises, and through the knowledge of Him to participate in His divine nature.
You have everything that you need in Christ. The problem is the lie that we believe that we don't because we believe what we see more than what He says. Well, but I'm not experiencing all of these things in my life. Yeah. Maybe you're not ready for him to unwrap those gifts for you yet.
What do you do? Seek after him and trust his process and continue to pursue him and be obedient with what he does unwrap for you. Faithful with a little and he gives you? More. More.
Amen. So that you're not lacking in any gift as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus, who will sustain you to the end. He sustained you to the end. If you lean into your effort, you'll burn out. But if you lean into Him, He'll give you His power, and you'll be doing more by His power than by your own self effort.
He's the sustainer. Guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus. Now I have to apologize. Our team back there that puts up the scriptures, I told them NIV, and I didn't realize this 1 was ESV. So I apologize if it's a little different.
But it's the same heart, same principles. But ESV says guiltless guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus. Do you realize because of Jesus, you are guiltless before the Father now? Because He paid for your past, present, and future sin a 100% so you can stand confidently in the presence of God by *faith* because of His grace that's been attributed to your account. I mean, that's amazing.
Now you have to know this and hear this and stand in this to be able to hear the cutting that's about to happen. Okay? There's about to be some cutting. But this is how God sees you, and this is how Paul saw you in faith 2000 years ago as he was writing this by the the leading of the Holy Spirit. You've been enriched in every way, and you're guiltless before him.
Now because of that, there's a lot of people that don't know that, and so they don't live guiltless because they're living ignorant of what the Word says about them. They're not living by grace through faith. They're living like a toddler that doesn't know what their dad talks about them, and so they're stumbling. Maybe that's some of you in some of the areas we're gonna talk about. If it is, hear it.
Confess. Amen. That's right. I shouldn't be doing that because that's not who I am in Him. Repent.
Change your mindset. You're not a part of the culture of the world anymore. The culture of the kingdom is over and above American culture. So we gotta change our worldview to see the world the way that God sees it because we live from heaven to earth. Amen?
Amen. You guys alright? Amen. And then in verse 9, it says, God is faithful. Everybody say faithful.
Faithful. That means God is full of faith. Faithful just means full of faith. Full of faith is has longevity to it, steadfastness. But He's full of He's not full of faith in you.
He has no faith in your flesh. He has full faith in Christ who's in you. Right? **Christ in you*, the hope of glory. Christ in you is God*'s hope of getting glory throughout the world.
So when we take our focus off of us and put it on Jesus, guess what? We experience the fullness of God in our life. Amen? Amen. Come on.
That's good stuff. Alright. And by whom He's called you into fellowship with His Son, Jesus. There's your lens through which you should see this. Now remember in in chapter 1, Paul addressed divisions in the church because divisions in the church stink.
It means the people in the church are more focused on themselves than Jesus. Because if you're focused on yourselves, that's when you're offended and backbiting and doing all this stuff. But when you're focused on Jesus, then you realize you have no right to be offended, and so you forgive and and confront wrongs out of love and gentleness, and then reconcile. Amen? And then he proclaimed Christ crucified, which is foolishness to the world in chapter 2.
Then he talked about wisdom from the Spirit and the power of God. Man, chapter 2 of first Corinthians is 1 of my favorite chapters because it details how to hear the voice of God, that he speaks to you and shows you the very thoughts of the father. You realize as a born again Christian, you can hear and know the very thoughts of the father by the Holy Spirit and grow in that day in and day out? There's this thing that goes around on social media, and I might step on your toes here. There's this thing that goes around social media that says, you wanna "hear God's voice"?
Read this out loud. Now there's some truth to that because this is the word of God. However, if you read this out loud and the Holy Spirit's not speaking to you and you don't you don't have the Holy Spirit, then you're just reading words on a page. This that's not illuminated by the Holy Spirit is just words on a page. The Pharisees knew this and crucified Jesus.
Okay? So I know this, and I read this and study this so that I can hear God clearly in my daily life just like they did in the Bible, because it says Elijah was a person just like us, and he prayed. So it it equates us with the saints of the word because we have the same Holy Spirit. We're being an imitator of Christ as a dearly loved child. Many people in the in the Christian church really serve the father, the son, and the holy bible, and they x out the Holy Spirit.
That's not biblical, not scripture, and it's scriptural, and it's not okay. Your knowledge of this allows you to hear the Holy Spirit more clearly and to discern what's him and what's you. If that was on your toes, praise the Lord, just confess, repent, and shift. It's alright. Then chapter 3 talks about the more divisions in the church.
Paul hit divisions in the church hard. You know why? Because John-17, Jesus said, Father, make them 1 as we are 1 so that the world would know that you sent me. So unity in the church is the most effective way of the world knowing that the Father sent the Son, that the Father loved it so much He sent His 1 and only Son that whoever whoever would believe in Him would not perish, would have everlasting life. Unity in the Church is the most effective form of evangelism.
There's a synergy synergistic effect because of it. So which would mean division in the church is the most effective way for Satan to prevent the world from knowing Jesus. So Paul addressed it hard with the Corinthians because there was division happening because people were comparing themselves among themselves and and and saying, I follow this guy, and I follow this guy. Stop it. Follow Jesus and learn from both of them.
Amen?
Amen.
I didn't mean for it to be cutting yet. Alright. So then chapter 4, Paul gets into the ministry of the of the apostles is the the title there. He's talking about leadership. In chapter 4 verse 15, he says this, for though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers.
For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you to be imitators of me. And I'll tell you, as your pastor, as the lead of this church, I wanna live a life in every area of my life where if you see any area of my life, I can still confidently and boldly say, imitate, follow me as I follow Jesus. But see, you're supposed to live that same way. As a father of your home, you want your children to be able to see every area of your life, "nothing hidden", and still confidently and boldly say, follow me as I follow Jesus.
As a wife, as a brother, as a sister? See, 1 of the reasons many children rebel is because they see their parents go out in the world and put on a mask and look different than they see at home. And then they don't know what's real. They just see a "fake world", a fake life because because the ones that are most real to them are acting fake. And so they rebel looking for reality.
What if the parents are actually in 100% pursuit of knowing Jesus more, And when they make mistake, they reveal it to their children, repent before God and before them so that they can see somebody that's really following Jesus. You probably have a lot less teenagers rebelling because they see authenticity in the home. There we go. There's a that's right. Come on.
Alright. And then he gets into, oh, sexual immorality in the church, says some tough stuff. In chapter 6, lawsuits against believers, which is dumb. And then chapter 6 verse 9, he says this, or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
I mean, that's pretty straightforward. But my friends, but my family, but my son, but my daughter, but my mama, but the word. If it ain't in Jesus, you can't make excuses for it. Now, want you to know that you're welcome here no matter who you are, what you've done, where you've been from, what you look like, smell like, what your past is. You are welcome here, and we will unashamedly point you to Jesus.
100%. We will love you and point you to the foot of the cross. And once you give your life to Jesus, everything shifts. You become a new creation in Christ, and he begins transforming you from the inside out. Working on the times when you were hurt, when you were 5 years old, and that lie that you believed or that pain resulted in the lifestyle that you lived in this way, that way, or the other.
And because it's such a "hot button topic", hot button topic, homosexually homosexuality included. It is not of God. Transgender, all that stuff is not Jesus, and the person needs to be born again. And if they've already been been born again, they need to need to live like they are born again. Because the Bible says here, nor thieves, nor greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Verse 11. And such were some of you. But I was "born this way". So what? Many people were born in sin.
We all were. We were born sinners. Some were the proclivity toward alcoholism. Some were the proclivity towards homosexuality. Some were the proclivity towards theft, some with a proclivity towards this, born a sinner.
But guess what? Doesn't matter how you were born. You can be born again. Amen. You can be born of God, a new creation in Christ Jesus.
Behold, all things have passed away. Do you believe that or not? And if you don't, you're probably not really a Christian. Because when you give your life to Jesus, old things pass away. You weren't created to live in sin and to make excuses for it.
And those of you that are, you know that you're bound and you're lacking peace and joy, you're fighting for it. And the only peace and joy is gonna be found in surrendering your life and your lifestyles to Jesus Christ and following the boundaries that he set in place. That's where freedom is. You've seen it before, but I'm gonna do it again. This shoe, apart from surrender to the foot, does nothing and lives a life that sucks.
But when the shoe, which is created in the image of the foot, partially surrenders to the foot, man, it can do some stuff, more stuff than it could before. And then when it fully surrenders to the foot, to the the way that it's supposed to surrender to the foot, now it has the full freedom that it was created to have. And, man, in every area of your life, when you live the way that Jesus says, that's when you're gonna experience full freedom. Stop making excuses, and stop making excuses for your friends, your sons, your daughters, and everybody else, and begin telling them the truth because it's only the truth that will set them free. And if you make excuses for them, your excuses may lead them to hell because those people, if they haven't been born again, will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But man, God loves you, and he wants you. He's drawing you because he's speaking truth to you to cut this junk away so that you can live in full freedom. You alright?
Yeah. So
now this is all stuff that Paul was just addressing because it was on his heart because the Corinthians were living like Americans. And then the Corinthian church wrote a letter asking for for Paul to address specific things because Paul was like a spiritual father to them. So, Courtney, would you come up here and help me with this letter? Because this has got some stuff that probably needs a woman's touch to it. Now I would say this.
If you have small children in here, we have children's church for a reason. Okay? If your children are not ready for the sex talk or to talk married talk, they probably need to go to children's church. Okay? Because this is real church, which means real talk.
Alright? Fair warning? You guys okay? Alright. So let me get settled here.
Chapter 7, Corinthians series. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. Now, most people just read that and say, man, is that what Paul is saying? No. In the ESV, that's in quotation marks because that's likely something that the letter that the Corinthians wrote to Paul was quoting, like Paul was quoting from their letter.
Why? Because there's a Greek thought, Gnosticism is probably what it was, but this Greek philosophy that said, hey, the and it shows up in religions around the world today too. There's nothing new under the sun. It says the physical world is evil. You know, your body is evil.
So we gotta we gotta deny every feeling, every thought, you know, every emotion. You know, we should we should deny all that stuff because it's evil. Similar aspects in Buddhism and and really Scientology probably too. We've to deny all of that and and just just be super spiritual. Right?
And the more spiritual we are, the better. The the less fleshly feelings we have of the body, the better. And and and it's a lie. God created the world. He created the physical world.
He created your physical body to it be enjoyed in the bounds that he set that is healthy. Okay? Makes sense? So so the the Christian church in Corinth was falling into this, you know, gnostic thought type thing where all bodily stuff is bad. Let's just deny everything.
And that's got some lies to it because we're we're created to enjoy creation with the holy God. Amen? So Paul then begins to address that. And I'll read this, and then I'll give you the mic, baby. So let's start over.
You can understand what he's saying now. Now concerning the matters of which about which you wrote, it is good for a man to not to have sexual relations with a woman. That's their quote. But, Paul responds, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
That's talking about sex. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. What? Likewise, though, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive 1 another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control.
What you think, babe? I
have a story. I always have a story. So normally, like, on a Sunday, we prepare and and we've got what God has for you kinda packaged together in an easy to understand way. Today is not that case because yesterday, in our hour and a half drive, we were on vacation and we had to drive to the airport. That's when we planned how today was gonna roll.
So this is
I had been planning for
He he had been planning, but he was like, you'll be fine. So this is very unscripted. I was thinking last night at the airport. I work really well when there are very clearly defined rule like, defined rules. Like, I am a rule follower, and I saw this in my son at the airport last night when they announced don't sit on the luggage belt because it's about to move.
And my son, my 12 year old is standing there, and there's this man sitting on the luggage belt and he's going He looks at me and I was like, because it's a ton of people spring break in Tampa and he's like That's how I realized he's a lot like me. I like **healthy boundaries*. I'm learning more and more in my life*. I like healthy boundaries when they're placed on me by God, and I see how loving they are when I have them for my children because I love them, I want to protect them, I want to serve them, I want to see them walk in everything that God has for them, and healthy boundaries are good. That's what scripture is for us.
That is a healthy boundary because our father loves us. Like, we should desire to learn how to more clearly follow, understand, and honor his word. Amen. And this passage, especially in culture, like, don't wanna be owned by nobody. Like, I'm not a slave.
I don't wanna have to do what I don't wanna do. Amen? Like, I don't feel like I should have to do what I don't wanna do. But God is giving us these commands, these instructions in order to help us serve him more closely, get some freedom in our lives. So these boundaries, when you look at it from the heart of not a God who's just trying to bind you from having any fun or bind you from being free.
These boundaries to me give freedom, and we'll dive into that a little more.
Yeah. Amen. And and when it when it talks about the man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband, man, this really goes against cultural values that say, "my body, my rights". No. No.
No. Not when you get married in the church in Christianity. Now, it's this is her body, and and that is my body because we're 1, and God made us 1. And and we're in covenant 1 with another and it's a trusting thing. And so as someone who loves her body as my own, I would never take advantage of her body for my own benefit.
Because here's the deal. Love is sacrificing yourself for the sake of another. Right? Okay. So if I love her, then I'm gonna sacrifice myself for her sake.
Amen? Alright. So if love is sacrificing yourself for the sake of another, then selfishness is sacrificing another for your sake. And too often, we have selfishness in marriage that is that it's called love. Sacrificing what she feels in a moment or what, you know, what she's going through for my needs.
That's called selfishness. No. I'm supposed to lay down my needs because I I shouldn't need something so much that if I don't get it, I'll sin.
Yeah. Say that again.
I shouldn't need anything in this world so much that if I don't get it, I'll sin. Because I should be so fulfilled in Christ that I'm okay here. I'm okay here, and I'm okay here. Now if there's anything in my life that I need so much that if I don't get it, I'm freaking out, I probably need to fast that thing. Because that thing has become an idol in my life that I worship and I can't do without.
And I don't wanna be controlled by anything, not even sex. That's why it talks about, do not deprive 1 another, verse 5, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourself to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of lack of self control. Now, I don't. This is more this would be more on her. She doesn't just fast sex just because she doesn't wanna have sex with me, and then call it fasting.
But really, she's aggravated at me and and ticked off and and withholding in order to get her way. I know that doesn't happen in anybody's marriage. Maybe not quote unquote fasting, but the, you know, that that doesn't have that's never happened to you guys. Right? No.
So so when it's a fast, it's by mutual consent. Hey, I believe we we should fast this baby. And she says, you know what? I think you're right. Okay.
Let's set a time, a week, 2 weeks, you know, depending on how long that is. Why? For for showing myself, my Lord, that I'm not addicted to anything except him, even this good thing that he created for us to enjoy together. Amen? Amen.
You guys alright? We're very quiet this morning. Yeah. What what do you have? Do you have anything else to say about that, babe?
Yeah. So this is a hot button topic in marriage when I talk with people when a specific I talk to the wives about this. Like, I don't sit around and talk with guys about sex. Just FYI, if you wanna talk about that, you talk to him, not to me. But ladies, talk to a lot of women about this, and there is a attitude that I have had before.
And sometimes I I fight it now just being, you know, 1 of our core values is transparency. I deal with this sometimes now where this is what the word says, but I don't wanna do what you wanna do right now because I'm tired or I don't feel loved or you haven't been serving me or I feel neglected or you haven't loved me well, so why should I love you well? Maybe. Has anyone anyone ever thought those things? Just be honest.
You're in church. Don't lie.
Praise the Lord.
She was like,
yes. We have a participant.
So so what does it look like then when maybe he's not a jerk. I promise, he's not a jerk. First 5 years of our marriage, he was a jerk. But we've been real open and transparent. He's been open.
I'm not just throwing him under the bus. Like, the Lord has done so much in our lives, and and I think we have perfect marriage, which is wild now compared to then. But
And we've been married 17 years.
Yeah. We've been married a minute. Amen. So what happens when I feel neglected or I feel like I haven't been loved? What I used to do is get all up in my feelings and be like, well, you're you've been a jerk to me today, and now you wanna go have ministry time with your wife, and I don't wanna minister to you right now.
I'm a mama, and I know there are kids in here, and I know this is a p g 13 message, but that that's always gonna ring in my head, like, what if there's 1 1 kid in here? So, I'm like trying to keep it a little bit rated g, but it's Just kidding. They've been warned. So, what happens? Well, there are just some times when God's instruction is for our benefit and for others benefit regardless of how we feel, he's going to ask you to do things that you don't wanna do.
Sacrificing ourselves for what he says is the Christian life. So there are times that I'm not going to want to do what God is asking me to do. I'm not gonna wanna go and have sex with him because I'm in my feels, I'm focusing on what I'm not getting instead of, I I desire to do things God's way regardless of him. My responsibility is not what he does. My responsibility in every area of life is doing what God has instructed me to do Because there's gonna be a day when I stand before him, I've already been saved, I've already been forgiven.
I'm going to be judged according to what I've done. Correct? Mhmm. Not for salvation, but for reward.
Yeah. So the the way that I say it is this, We're not we're not judged for our sin because Jesus was judged for our sin. We're not judged for our sin.
Those who've been born again.
But we are judged for our reward. If you've been if you haven't been born again, you haven't trusted in Jesus, you'll be judged for your sin. And and hell is the the next stop. Please receive Jesus. But if you've been born again, you've given your life to Jesus, Jesus was judged for your sin so that you could only be judged for your reward.
Make sense? Go ahead.
So I I want to do what God says, even if right now I'm not getting what I want. I want you to apologize. I want you to repent. I want you to go do the dishes. I want you to do this.
I want you to do that, and then maybe I'll do what God has asked me to do. How foolish does that sound? But we do that often, and sometimes it's about me saying, hey, I want to serve you despite you not serving me, despite me feeling like I've been neglected. And some of you are like, oh my gosh, like, I'm neglected all the time and I'm supposed to just do this. When you get into a marriage covenant with your spouse, whether whether or not you knew what you were getting into or not, you should have read the "fine print", the word of God.
Because there are some instructions for us, for our benefit, and we may not feel like we are getting that benefit right now, but we will.
Yeah. And and for this 1, I'm gonna stand up for the men. You know you know that that day where you have just missed your wife and you've been thinking about your wife all day. And and you get home, the kids are running crazy and stuff, and you just can't stop thinking about your wife. And then eventually you put the kids to bed and you're thinking about your wife.
And it's time to put those thoughts to action and she has a headache or she's really emotional something like that. What do you do? What do you do in that moment? Well, you love her more than you love yourself. You understand?
You lay down your life for her sake. You listen to her talk. You go give her a Tylenol, pray the headache goes away. But if it doesn't if it doesn't, you're not loving her you're not loving her by asking her to do what you want to do. You're loving yourself and sacrificing her for your sake.
You're being selfish. As a man, we're supposed to do what Jesus did for his wife in Ephesians-5 and lay His life down for the for the bride. And we're supposed to daily, moment by moment, lay our life down for our bride. So if we ever get caught in selfishness, then we're not being like Jesus, and we're not loving our wife like the Church love like Jesus loved the Church. We're supposed to wash her in the "water of the Word" regardless of what our emotions and our flesh tells tells us about her in the moment.
Not wash her in the water of what we feel about her. We're supposed to wash her in the water of what Jesus says about her constantly and speak that over her by faith and watch her grow into all that God's called her to be because we're acting like Jesus did for the church. Do you understand? So don't use this verse as an opportunity for you to control your wife. You'd be out of line and in sin.
This is an opportunity for you to learn that your body is hers just as much as hers as yours. And with hers as yours, you are supposed to treat it like a treasure and lay your life down to cherish it and trust her with what she says. No manipulation, no lies. And women, knowing that he's treating you like that, do the same. Amen?
Amen. We okay?
Well, just to bible surf a little bit there, I think that women, at least me, I've always had the perspective, well, he's the leader of the home. He has authority over me. Because Ephesians says that. And if you go to Ephesians-5, it I think the specific verse says, wives submit to your husbands as is fitting to the Lord. Yeah.
And it talks about what wives are supposed to respect your husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, even laying his life down for her. So we look at that like, okay, I have to be in submission to him, but all he has to do is love me. All he has to do is bring me flowers and chocolates that he loves me, and I have to do everything he says. That's not what that scripture says.
No, not at all.
And that's what we've we've created in our heads to think that marriage means is that he's the boss and I'm just a subservient wife. The verse before that says, submit then 1 to another. Mhmm. This verse in 1 Corinthians-7 says, my body belongs to him but his body also belongs to me. Mhmm.
And then if you jump back to Ephesians, it says, no 1 like messes around with their own body. Specifically, says, he who loves his wife loves himself. For no 1, man or woman, hates their own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. So it's not a, I'm a slave and I have to do what he says when he says it because he is the authority. And I'll just say this, if there's ever a time
Uh-oh. If
there's ever a time that he's like, I'm the husband and this is what I want right now because I'm the head of this household, my flesh wants to be like, that's flesh and I'm not dealing with dead David John.
She said that multiple times before. Because, you know, I old old David John died with Christ, was crucified, so she don't wanna deal with that, which is which is man, I got a strong woman.
But what is love? Love is laying down your life for another. So in that moment, how do I love him well? It's being like, okay, should this be working out this way? Should you be lording that over Not that he does that now, but he did.
First 5 years. Should he be lording that over me now? Of course not. He should not be lording like, I'm the husband, and I said this, and I'm putting my foot down as the authority in this household. That's just a bunch of flesh and pride.
That is not of the Lord. My response shouldn't be I shouldn't respond in the flesh to his flesh. My response should be to lay my life down. Because if we love because God first loved us, don't you think that our spouses are gonna love learn love if we love them first?
Yeah. And and that's how it worked out in my marriage. I didn't know how to love her. I lived like I was the center of the universe in our marriage in the first 5 years. I I wasn't terrible as you would think is terrible, but I was not Jesus.
So in in some ways, I was terrible, you know, in the first 5 years. And and on the outside, everything looked like it was a great marriage, but it was just really terrible on the inside. There was no peace and no joy because it just wasn't in proper order. I wasn't loving her like Jesus loved me. And and the way that that looks, guys, the biblical order is the husband is the head of the wife.
Right? That is the biblical order. And I know that might rub against feminist mindset or rub against, like, American culture, get over it. It's it's Scripture. However, the way that that looks healthily is we're supposed to love our wife as Jesus loved the church.
And what did Jesus say to the bride? He said to his disciples, you'll do the same things I do and even greater. He he bent down and pushed them higher. That's what the husband's supposed to do in loving the wife and laying his life down for her. He washed hey.
But but but she betrayed me. Yeah. Well, but but she she doesn't respect me. Yeah. Well, Peter didn't respect Jesus by denying him 3 times.
And you know what he did before he denied before Peter denied Jesus? Jesus washed his feet anyway and knew he was gonna do it. Jesus "washed his feet anyway". Hey, husbands. When you feel disrespected, think about how Jesus treated Peter in that moment, and wash your feet anyway with the water of his word.
But but she you she betrayed me in this area. She she doesn't trust me. She she this. Yeah. Well, what what did Judas do?
*Judas Judas betrayed Jesus* with 30 pieces of silver. You know what Jesus did before he did that? Jesus washed his feet anyway. Wash your feet anyway. *Love* her anyway.
Speak the word of Jesus over her anyway. Push her up anyway. *Husband, you treat your wife* like that, she won't have a problem respecting you, because she'll know she's loved by you. Hey. You guys okay?
Amen. It's it's control. You know you know why husbands try to control their wives? Every time you try to control something, it's because of fear. Every single time.
Fear they're not gonna do what you want them to do. Fear they're not gonna act like you want them to act. Fear you're not gonna get what you want. Fear whatever it is. And fear is not in God.
There is no fear in love and God is love. So there's no fear in Him. So there there's no control. He never tries to control us. So if we're trying to control our wife, we're operating outside operating outside of love and in fear.
Better stop. Amen? Amen. That's good. Right?
Yeah. Okay. You guys alright? We need to close, babe. We need to close?
Yeah.
We made it through 5 verses. The
Corinthians series continues. So we'll be back next week because we gotta make it through chapter 7 together, if that's okay with you, babe. Yeah. There's a lot of good stuff in the next in the rest of chapter 7. Well, there's a lot of good stuff in this whole bible.
But in I would encourage you to read and challenge yourself with 1 Corinthians-7 over this next week because, man, we're gonna dive into every verse. And you might as well have already looked at it yourself so you're not just shocked. Okay? You guys okay? Yeah.
Yeah. Praise the Lord.